Yes & No
Picking on what to give up.
If you take on a new idea because it sounded exciting at the top of the rabbit hole and surface three weeks later to find the kiln build hasn’t moved an inch. The yes felt good in the moment but no didn’t show up until later, wearing work clothes and carrying a list of things that didn’t get done.
I am getting better at this but slowly. The trick is not to stop saying yes, as saying yes is how things happen, how kilns get built and gardens get planted and posts get written and strangers from Ohio get their wheels put back on. The trick is to see the no at the same time you see the yes, to hold them both in the same hand before you decide which one to set down. Sometimes the yes is worth the no. Sometimes it is not. But you can only know that if you’re honest about what both of them cost.
The factory is the biggest yes I carry. Twelve-hour nights, three days a week. That is a yes to a paycheck and health insurance and the ability to fund the pottery and the solar project and the garden and everything else I write about here. The no that comes with it is enormous. No to daylight. No to the wheel on working days. No to firing the kiln when the weather is perfect. No to being rested. I have carried that trade for years and I still believe it is the right one, but I never pretend the no isn’t there. Pretending is how you burn out. Seeing it clearly is how you survive it.
If you find yourself overwhelmed by all the projects that are not moving, it might help to look at all the things you said yes to recently and find the no that came attached. You might discover that the yes you gave to something small pushed the no onto something that mattered more. Or you might discover that every yes was the right call and the only problem is that there is one of you and twelve things on the list. That is a different problem with a different solution, and knowing which one you are dealing with is half the fix.
Today I am saying yes to rest. That means saying no to the firebox, the studio clean, and the second coat of trimming on the pine tree. That is fine. The firebox will be there tomorrow. So will the studio. So will the pine tree. Today the yes goes to sleep and the no goes to everything else, and I am making that trade with both eyes open.
If I were living yesterday a second time: I would have looked at the no before I said the yes, not after. It would have saved me from wondering at the end of the day where the time went. It went exactly where I sent it.
Things I am grateful for: A factory job that is a hard yes with a known no.
If I get to live to be 86, I might only have: 12,663 days left. Each one of them holds a few yeses and a few nos. Getting better at seeing both at the same time might be the most useful skill I learn this year.
Originally published at Creek Road Pottery
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Thank you Al, needed that today - new week ahead promises to be a good practice of the game of yes and no.